You really put it accurately. When I came to psychedelics I had expectations and excitement and stuff. It didn't turned out exactly as expected.

Not fun :( I've had two months of depersonalization after a psylocybin take. Lowered intellect, unability to stop the flow of thoughts, anxiety of being schizophrenic, no emotions except for art, seeing a monster when looking at the mirror. Sensorial defects became readily apparent which is annoying but useful. I still see coloured points sometimes.

The next experience was entirely positive though (outdoor, friends).

I agree, orange juice is a must-have on any trip.

Unfortunately I think the Internet is biased toward good feedback about psychedelics because those who had problems either:

- lost interest in psychedelics,

- hate to write about it,

- are not able to write about it,

- don't want anyone to know they were "mad" once

That's why you should try meditation a go before you even think of psychedelics imho. Try to get what your subconscious mind is trying to tell you. There is a simple test for that: is there something you don't want to think about?

(Posting from a throw-away account)

I'm someone dominated by anxiety and guilt and this is also my experience. Psychedelics are a fast and often cruel way to change one-self while meditation is safe, manageable and pleasant.